CSE arts jrnl ISO submissions to publ. Looking for poetry, essays, fict. Photog., drawings, computer art welcome. Must be creative, entertaining, Web friendly. Sense of humor a plus. High art encouraged but not a must. Contact mossy-bits@cs if interested.

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Mossy Bits - It's more fun than what you're supposed to be doing.

It hit you this morning in the shower. You were done with your rinse and were about to repeat when you began to take stock of your life. Once you were a well-rounded person, a man or woman of the world who was well-versed in the arts and sciences, someone who could talk glibly about Shakespeare or Tolstoy and then sit down to hack code. This has fallen by the wayside as computer science has taken over your life bit by mossy bit.

You like your work. You're sure of it. Yet you still feel that something's lacking, that you were meant for more than circuits and search trees, that you have a need to express yourself that no LALR parser could ever understand. Fifteen minutes have passed and you're still standing there, staring at the linoleum as the water flows away like the fleeting moments of your all too ephemeral life.

The editors of Mossy Bits would like to help. Send us the incarnations of your angst and ennui, your hope and inspired desparation. Send us your humor and your music, your writing and your art, to show the world that no, you're not going to take this lying down. Life may be transient and futile and empty, but dammit, you're not going to let that stop you. If nothing else, enter the writing contest so you have at least one brief shot at fame. But you must hurry. The deadline is March 7th, and after that this opportunity will disappear like steam on the bathroom mirror of your soul.

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Mossy Bits - Because we don't always mix our metaphors.

Listen, I have to talk to you.

No, it's not about dinner. The meatloaf was fi-

No, I didn't find out what the dog did. I just wanted to sa-

Please, hear me out. This is hard enough already.

Okay, fine. I'll spit it out. I'll say it right.... now.

Boy, this is hard. Okay, I'll try this again. I'll say it right... now:

Thuhnekstisshueuhvmahseebitzizntrehdeeyeht.

There, I said it. I'm glad I finall-

What do you mean you couldn't understand me? Okay, I'll try this again.

Thuhnekstisshueuhvmahseebitzizntrehdeeyeht.

What? Okay, fine. I'm taking a deep breath now, see? I'll say it slowly this time:

The... next... issue... of... Mossy... Bits... isn't... ready... ye-

Please. You know how I hate it when you look at me that way. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't -

Come on. You know I hate those Bambi eyes. This really isn't that -

ALL RIGHT. KNOCK OFF THE "OH, THE HUMANITY" BALONEY. THAT'S ENOUGH.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. Here, let me get you a Kleenex.

Listen, I understand that you're upset. But still, this is only a literary magaz-

Yes, it does have works from the most creative minds in the department.

And yes, you have been waiting for over a year to find out the answers to the last contest. But still I -

Yeah, you're right. Hey - If I tell you that the next issue will be out in a week, will that make you feel better?

Okay, good. It really will be worth the wait.

Promise.

I'm glad we could work this out. There's one thing I'm still wondering about, though.

What the dog do this time?

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"I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by." - Douglas Adams

After weeks of anticipation, the Wint^H^H^H^H Spring 1997 edition of Mossy Bits is ready for public consumption:

http://www.cs.washington.edu/publications/mossybits/spring97

Find out what your professors used to look like, and why Omid Madani is now the proud owner of a set of Magic Rocks. Learn what atrocitious writing earned Josh Seims first place in the It Was a Dark and Stormy Night bad fiction contest, and what punishment we think he deserves for it. View oodles of images and reams of writing, all created by your fellow students here in the department.

Here's what others have said about this year's issue of Mossy Bits:

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"Mossy Bits comes as a breath of wit and creativity in a Web asphyxiating on the useless and inane. It was better than Cats."
-- Abby Normal, The Atlantic Monthly

"I think it's nifty."
-- Brian Michalowski, random vagrant

"Alack, my noblest plays are but tawdry skits
Compared to the works found in Mossy Bits."
-- William Shakespeare, British playwright

"¿Que estas diciendo? No hablo ingles."
-- Miguel de Cervantes y Saavedra, Spanish author

"Stop trying to interview dead people, you twit."
-- Mark Twain, American author

As you can see, the praise has been phenomenal. So read this year's issue of Mossy Bits **this instant**, and find out what you've been missing out on.

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Mossy Bits - It's more fun than what you're supposed to be doing.